Music Of My Heart
by chaingangprincess1978
Summary: John is left alone with his thoughts and some music after being stood up by Randy one night.
1. Chapter 1

**Music Of My Heart**

**Written by: chaingangprincess1978**

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from WWE. Nor do I own the words or music from the songs "Alone" and "What About Love" by Heart. Or the song "Little Bird" by Annie Lennox. I just had an idea for a story based on the music, so I wrote it. No copyright infringement intended, Please read and review. Thanks.

"**I hear the ticking of the clock,**

**I'm lying here the room's pitch dark."**

John sighed as he rolled onto his back to look at the ceiling in his dark hotel room. He had given up on waiting for Randy an hour ago. He was still worried though. It wasn't like Randy to not show up. They always enjoyed the time they got to spend together. He looked over at the clock on his bed side table, it was past one in the morning. He wished he could fall asleep and forget about Randy.

"**I wonder where you are tonight,**

**no answer on the telephone.**

**And the night goes by so very slow**

**Oh, I hope that it won't end though, alone."**

The time seemed to drag on. John was wide awake, consumed with worries about Randy. Had he met someone else? Was there an accident? Had something happened to him? John tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, but soon found that it was impossible. He reached for his iPhone on the table and dialed Randy's number.

"Hi You've reached Randy..." John heard the greeting message for Randy's voice mail and hung up, sighing. No answer, well that certainly didn't help the mood he was in right now. He felt a few warm tears slide down his cheek as his mind began to torment him with endless posibilities. Each one worse than the last. He hoped that everything was ok, and that Randy would be here soon. He didn't want to sleep alone.

"**Till now I always got by on my own.**

**I never really cared until I met you.**

**And now it chills me to the bone.**

**How do I get you alone?**

**How do I get you alone?"**

John scolded himself for getting emotional. This had never happened to him before. In his past relationships it had just been for fun. For kicks. John had never been serious about any of it. He had never really cared one way or the other how things turned out.

Then he and Randy had gotten to know each other on a much deeper level and suddenly John found himself caring. John shivered as a chill ran down his spine as he thought about Randy and how intense they were together...he didn't know what it was but there was something incredible between them and John was liking it. He was falling...that much he knew for sure.

"**You don't know how long **

**I have wanted, to touch your lips and hold you tight.**

**You don't know how long I have waited**

**And I was gonna tell you tonight.**

**But the secret is still my own.**

**And my love for you is still unkown, Alone."**

John got out of bed, and went into the bathroom. Maybe a nice hot shower would relax him enough that he would be able to sleep. He stood in the shower and as he let the hot water run over him he felt his thoughts wander to Randy again. For so long now, he had been wanting this. He had been wanting to spend an entire night with Randy. They hadn't been able to because they weren't out yet. And also, John had been in a relationship with Nikki. She had been his cover...but he had gotten tired of lying to himself and to her and he had called that quits a few months back.

They had finally had the courage to come out a few weeks back. And John was relieved to see that most of the other Superstars were very accepting of it. It made him feel much better.

John had been waiting for tonight for a very long time. Tonight was supposed to be the first time that they would spend the night together. No cover, no bullshit. Just the two of them. John almost wanted to cry as he felt himself yearning to hold Randy. To kiss him as he had so many times before. He had booked a room with one King Size bed for tonight, and had told Randy to meet him here after the show. His plan had been to tell Randy how he was feeling.

John sighed again as he thought about it all. What was it going to take for him to get Randy all to himself for a night, so that he could tell him how he truly felt about him. It was frustrating, to say the least. Because now John's secret would remain as such until he got a chance to tell Randy about his feelings.

John finished his shower, dried off and got back into bed. So much for relaxation! This was driving him insane. He didn't know what else to do. He decided that maybe a little music would drown out the voices in his head. He reached for his iPod and slipped in his earbuds, turning it on he left the playlist on shuffle. John felt a few more warm tears slide down his cheeks as a very fitting song came on. It was by the 80's rock band, Heart. And it was called "What About Love?" John finally gave in and let the tears come as he listened to the words.

"**I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you.**

**I'm pretending, and that's all I can do.**

**The love I'm sending, ain't makin' it through to your heart..." **

John sobbed quietly as he felt like Ann Wilson was singing right to him. This was exactly how he was feeling right now. He laid back against the pillows and lost himself in the song.

John felt so alone right at that moment. Here he was waiting for the one person that could make everything all better for him and he was nowhere to be found. John pulled himself together. He needed to be strong, even if it was all pretend. It was all he could do right now. It hurt because as much as he tried to show him; Randy wasn't cluing in to the fact that he loved him. John's love was going un-requited.

"**You've been hiding.**

**Never letting it show.**

**Always tryin' to keep it under control.**

**You've got it down**

**And you're well on your way to the top.**

**But there's something that you forgot."**

If Randy felt even a little bit the same way that John did. He was not showing it. Sure, the time they spent together was good. The sex was amazing. Randy was a very passionate lover. But John always felt that he was almost hiding things from him. He certainly was good at keeping John guessing.

John guessed that maybe Randy was like this because of the nasty divorce he had gone through with Samantha when he had come out to her, and told her that he was gay. He was afraid to let himself feel. He was forgetting that love could be very beautiful.

"**What about love?**

**Don't you want someone to care about you?  
What about love?**

**Don't let it slip away.**

**What about love?**

**I only want to share it with you.**

**You might need it someday."**

As he heard Ann sing those lyrics, John once again felt like she was singing about him. This was exactly what he would be saying to Randy if he were here right now.

"**I can't tell you, What you're feelin' inside**

**And I can't sell you, what you don't want to buy.**

**Something's missing, you've gotta look back on your life.**

**You know something here just ain't right."**

He wanted so badly to help Randy move on from his break up with Samantha. He was falling for him, hard. And it was killing him that Randy wasn't ready to reach out and take what was right there infront of him. He hoped that sooner, rather than later Randy would look back and see that love was missing from his life. In relaity, John knew that he couldn't tell him how to feel. That was something Randy was going to have to figure out on his own.

The song changed then, and one of his favorites came up. It was by Annie Lennox and it was called "Little Bird." As he listened to the words, John realized that this song fit his situation perfectly. It really described what he was going through.

_I look up to the little bird  
That glides across the sky  
He sings the clearest melody  
It makes me want to cry  
It makes me want to sit right down  
and cry cry cry  
I walk along the city streets  
So dark with rage and fear  
And I...  
I wish that I could be that bird  
And fly away from here  
I wish I had the wings to fly away from here_

But my my I feel so low  
My my where do I go ?  
My my what do I know ?  
My my we reap what we sow  
They always said that you knew best  
But this little bird's fallen out of that nest now  
I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed  
So I've just got to put these wings to test

For I am just a troubled soul  
Who's weighted...  
Weighted to the ground  
Give me the strength to carry on  
Till I can lay my burden down  
Give me the strength to lay this burden down down down yeah  
Give me the strength to lay it down

But my my I feel so low  
My my where do I go ?  
My my what do I know ?  
My my we reap what we sow  
They always said that you knew best  
But this little bird's fallen out of that nest now  
I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed  
So I've just got to put these wings to test 

Suddenly John relaxed. He felt a little better after hearing that. It gave him peace and told him that it was okay to feel the way he was feeling.

He realized that it was all part of being in love. Sometimes you had to feel a little bit low and wonder where you were going in order to actually get there! He decided that tomorrow would be a new day and that he would not waste it. Instead he would go to Randy and tell him how he felt.

John slept peacefully for the rest of the night. He was filled with hope and love. He couldn't wait to find Randy and make everything okay between them.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I had a an awesome idea for a second chapter based around the song "Nothing Compares 2 U." so I wrote it. I own nothing and I dont own anything from WWE either.

Chapter 2

John got a text message from Randy the next morning, telling him that he was leaving for a little while. All it said was that he needed some "space." and that he would let him know when he was back and would see him then. John had no choice but to accept things as they were and carry on. He knew he would get answers when Randy got back.

**Two Weeks Later**

John was driving to the gym for his morning workout. He had his iPod plugged in to the car stereo as he normally did when driving. He began to think maybe the device had a mind of it's own as a song came on which once again fit his mood perfectly. This time it was "Nothing Compares 2 U." by Sinead O'Connor. John struggled to keep the tears from coming once again as Sinead's voice filled the car.

_It's been seven hours and fifteen days  
Since u took your love away  
I go out every night and sleep all day  
Since u took your love away_

This was the first morning that John had actually dragged his butt out of bed to go and do his workout. He had taken to going out at night. Hanging around the local clubs just so he wouldn't have to be at home alone; coming home at sunrise and then falling into bed and sleeping the day away. He hardly ate...he had missed several of his workouts...he was so sad...missing Randy so bad that it was tearing up his heart. The only reason he was going today was that he was starting to feel so weak.

_Since u been gone I can do whatever I want  
I can see whomever I choose  
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant  
But nothing  
I said nothing can take away these blues_

John had been out on a few dates since Randy had gone. None of them had gone very well. He remembered one in particular where he had been taken to one of the fanciest restaurants in town. John shuddered as he remembered how the guy told him to "snap out of it." after throwing a glass of ice water in his face. He couldn't find anything that would help him to cheer up.  
_  
`Cause nothing compares  
Nothing compares 2 u_

The sad thing was, John didn't care. He wanted Randy. His beautiful Randy. He felt hot tears of anger streaming down his cheeks as he listened to the music. Why had he left? What had John done to deserve this.? He didn't know. All he knew for certain was that right now, right at this moment, he was heartbroken.

_It's been so lonely without u here  
Like a bird without a song  
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling  
Tell me baby where did I go wrong_

Sinead's voice seemed to echo John's last set of thoughts. It made John's heart ache even more. He was crying now as he drove on. He knew he would have to pull himself together before he got to the gym. He couldn't let anyone see him like this. He wouldn't be able to keep it together if anyone asked him if he was okay. __

I could put my arms around every boy I see  
But they'd only remind me of you

John had fooled around a bit the first couple of nights. He had gone out and picked up a sexy young hunk with shaved hair and tattoos. But when it came down to it...he couldn't go through with it. He only reminded him of Randy. This was getting bad. John wasn't sure if he was going to live through it or not.

_I went to the doctor and guess what he told me  
Guess what he told me  
He said, "Girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do."  
But he's a fool_

John had even been to see a shrink. The shrink had written him a prescription for anti-depressants and had told him to go out and have some fun. John had left the appointment feeling worse than when he'd come in. This guy was a quack! He didn't see that John's whole world had fallen apart when Randy had gone away.__

`Cause nothing compares  
Nothing compares 2 u

"Sing it, girl." John said, as he cranked up the music and stomped on the gas. Speeding was never something that he did, but honestly, John did not care. If he got arrested, he got arrested. Vince would have one of his lawyers bail him out. As Sinead sang the next set of lyrics John had to suppress another shudder as he felt like she was singing about him and Randy.  
_  
All the flowers that u planted, mama  
In the back yard  
All died when u went away  
I know that living with u baby was sometimes hard  
But I'm willing to give it another try_

John felt bad. He had stopped caring for Randy's garden of flowers that he had planted and most of them were dead now. He had been so angry that he just couldn't bear to stand there and look at the damn things. Although now that he thought about it. Things really weren't that bad. Sure they'd had a bit of a rough patch...but surely it could be fixed. John certainly was willing to try again.  
_  
_John reached the gym just as the last notes were fading away. He had certainly been through the wringer emotionally on the drive over here. He hoped that after a good workout he would be more focused and closer to deciding on exactly what it was that he was going to do about this situation that he was in.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Hey everyone. I have been thinking about a few more ideas on how to continue this little story. And I have come up with a third chapter. No copyright infringement intended. I do not own the lyrics of the songs used in the story. I do not own John Cena, or Randy Orton or their likenesses. Just using them to have some fun and be creative. This story is a work of fiction.

Another week went by, and John still hadn't heard from Randy. He was seriously thinking of moving on and taking Roman up on his offer of dinner and a movie. He was very cute, with his tan, and his tattoos and long sexy dark hair.

"I promise you John, we will have a great time." Roman said to him one afternoon as they were working out together in the weight room backstage at the Venue where they would be performing that night.

"You're very sweet, Roman. I'd love to go out with you; but I can't." John replied.

"Why? Because of that asshole, Orton?" Roman was seething with anger. "John, you deserve better than that."

John let it go then. He told Roman that he would think about it. And for the first time in the last several weeks, he was actually half serious. Randy hadn't been around in close to a month. He had not called the whole time he was gone.

A few more days passed and John still had not heard from Randy. He decided that he would take a chance and take Roman up on his offer. They made plans to meet that evening for dinner and then to a club to dance and enjoy the evening together.

John smiled nervously as Roman picked him up at his room that night. They made their way downstairs to Roman's rental. A sexy black convertable, it was a perfect summer night and so they would be cruising with the top down and the music on.

"Would you like to hear anything in particular?" Roman asked him as they drove off.

"Nah...just leave it on shuffle." John said as he noticed Roman's iPod hooked up to the stereo.

Suddenly John's cheeks went pink as a very appropriate song came on. It was The Wanted with their song "Glad You Came." He blushed even deeper as Roman glanced over and winked at him singing the first few lines.

"_The sun goes down  
The stars come out  
And all that counts  
Is here and now  
My universe will never be the same  
I'm glad you came."_

John was happy he'd come too. He needed a change of scene, badly. He relaxed and smiled as they drove along. Tonight would be fun. Tonight would be an escape...and John was ready for whatever might happen. 

Roman ended up taking John to Benihana for Japanese food, John smiled. Roman had likely asked around to find out where he liked to go to eat. They had a nice dinner. Some great conversation and John found himself enjoying the evening more than he thought he was going to. After dinner, they decided to take a drive down to the beach.

They enjoyed a long walk along the beach, hand-in-hand , talking about everything from football, to cars, to fitness and nutrition. Roman was a smart guy. He was funny, sweet, and he listened to everything John had to say. John was starting to enjoy himself more and more...he realized that he had not thought about Randy once since Roman had picked him up earlier in the evening.

They made their way back to Roman's car. They sat there with the top down, staring up at the stars. Soft music playing on the stereo.

"If I forget to tell you later. I've enjoyed tonight." John said.

"Yeah, me too." Roman replied, reaching over to squeeze John's hand.

Just then Avril Lavigne came on singing "When You're Gone."

John closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat, fighting hard against the tears that were welling up in his eyes, and the lump that was forming in his throat. Now was NOT the time to have a meltdown over Randy...but the song was speaking to him.

I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

John tried hard to fight it...but it was no use. The tears started to fall. As nice as Roman was, John found himself wishing that Randy was there to kiss them away.

"John, what is it?" Roman asked, although he had a stinking feeling in his gut that he already knew. He cursed Orton silently and waited for John to answer.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Roman, I didn't mean to ruin our evening. It's just the song. It's making me think of Randy." John said, with a small sigh.

"John, you deserve so much better than asshole Orton. You're a funny, smart, sexy man. I know that you care for him, and I know that he claims to care about you...but John you gotta ask yourself, would someone who loved you as much as he says he does leave you to suffer like this?"

John knew in his heart that Roman was right. It was really unfair of Randy to be treating him this way. He knew that he should be moving on and reaching out to the amazing man that was right here next to him and offering him love, and affection. He should be taking Roman back to his hotel room but he knew that wouldn't be happening. It was impossible. He still loved Randy with all of his heart and soul.

Roman started the car and they drove back to hotel in silence.

"I'm sorry, Roman. Things were going so well." John said as they stood infront of his hotel room to say good night

"It's okay. I understand. I have been there. When Dean and I split up last year, I thought I would never survive it. But I came out of it okay. It can't rain forever John. Things will get better. I want you to know, that I really like you. I am ok with being just friends for now. But, if things don't work out with Randy, and I am available, I will be here. All you would have to do is say the word. I mean that."

"Thanks Roman. You sure are sweet. It's amazing that you don't have someone in your life." John smiled at Roman as he said that.

"Well I am hoping that I will soon." he replied with a wink, and John knew that he was talking about him.

They said good night then, with a hug.

John went into his room and took out his iPod. Like he had done on so many nights before this, he turned it on and lay down on the bed. This time he found himself listening to Glee's Lea Michele as she sang a soulful rendition of "I Won't Give Up (On Us)" by Jason Mraz.

_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
There's so much they hold_

As he listened to Lea's voice, John felt his thoughts once again wandering to Randy. He thought about his smoky blue-gray eyes. They were so beautiful. It was like having a window to Randy's soul. He could tell what kind of mood Randy was in just by looking him in the eye sometimes. _  
_

_And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?_

John knew that Randy had been through a lot in his life. The nasty divorce with Samantha. Coming out, that hadn't been easy on him. He'd had to face some bashing and not so nice treatment from some of his fellow talent, and well that was enough to make anyone angry and maybe a little cold. But John also knew that Randy was changing on the inside. He was beginning to come to terms with his life and the way it was now. He had come a long way and John was proud of him._  
_  
Well I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up 

John made up his mind right then and there. He wasn't going to give up without a fight! He had so much love in his heart for Randy. He would wait for him. 

And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find 

Sure Randy had taken off without giving him much of a goodbye. Ok so he had stayed away a long time. Yes, John was going crazy here without him, but deep down he understood why it was that Randy had left. He was soul searching, tying to figure out what is was that he really wanted in life. John was praying that he was part of Randy's vision for himself. But if he wasn't it wasn't like John didn't have other options. John was just gonna stay here and wait until the time came for him to find out what the deal was.

John turned up the volume then, and lost himself in the song and as he listened to Lea's voice echoing his thoughts, he felt himself start to feel a bit better about the situation at hand. 

_'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up  
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not  
And who I am_

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
I'm still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)  
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)  
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)  
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up 

As the last notes of the song faded out. John felt at peace once again. He reached for his phone on the bed side table. He picked it up and typed a quick text to Randy:

**Thinking of you, Missing you lots! Come home soon! I love you. **

John went to take a shower then. He got into bed, and for the first time in weeks, he slept peacefully.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Disclaimer: Hey everyone. I have been thinking about a few more ideas on how to continue this little story. And I have come up with a third chapter. No copyright infringement intended. I do not own the lyrics of the songs used in the story. I do not own John Cena, or Randy Orton or their likenesses. Just using them to have some fun and be creative. This story is a work of fiction.

Randy awoke in his bedroom at home in St. Louis. He rolled over and picked up his phone, checking it for messages. He saw that there was a new text message from John.

**Thinking of you, Missing you lots! Come home soon! I love you.**

Randy got out of bed with a sigh and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. He turned on his stereo as he passed by and hit play on the CD changer. As luck would have it, a very fitting song came on. It was "I Want It That Way." by The Backstreet Boys.

_Yeah_

[Brian:]  
You are my fire  
The one desire  
Believe when I say  
I want it that way

[Nick:]  
But we are two worlds apart  
Can't reach to your heart  
When you say  
That I want it that way

[Chorus:]  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want it that way

[AJ:]  
Am I your fire  
Your one desire  
Yes I know it's too late  
But I want it that way

[Chorus:]  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want it that way

[Kevin:]  
Now I can see that we're falling apart  
From the way that it used to be, yeah  
No matter the distance  
I want you to know  
That deep down inside of me...

[Howie:]  
You are my fire  
The one desire  
You are  
You are, you are, you are

Don't wanna hear you say  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake (don't wanna hear you say)  
I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah)  
I want it that way

Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say (don't wanna hear you say)  
I want it that way

Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say (never wanna hear you say)  
I want it that way

'Cause I want it that way 

As he listened to the words, Randy let his thoughts wander to John and he knew that he needed to get in touch with him as soon as possible. The truth was he was missing his Superman. And hearing this song only made the pain of the whole situation worse for him.

Randy finished his shower and got dressed. He picked up his phone and took it into the kitchen with him while he made his breakfast. As he was doing this, his phone beeped and Randy checked it to see that there was another message from John. An email. He opened it to find a single link to a video on YouTube. It was one of those song lyric videos. It was a tune by Jesse McCartney called "Beautiful Soul." Randy smiled as he opened the link and the song began to play.

_don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul_

I know that you are something special  
To you I'd be always faithful  
I want to be what you always needed  
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

[Chorus:]  
I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You're the one I wanna chase  
You're the one I wanna hold  
I won't let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over  
But I'm just fine moving forward  
I'll ease your mind  
If you give me the chance  
I will never make you cry c`mon let's try

[Chorus:]  
I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You're the one I wanna chase  
You're the one I wanna hold  
I won't let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you?  
Maybe do you think you could want me too?  
I don't wanna waste your time  
Do you see things the way I do?  
I just wanna know that you feel it too  
There is nothing left to hide

[Chorus:]  
I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You're the one I wanna chase  
You're the one I wanna hold  
I won't let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your soul

I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul

Ooooooo  
Beautiful soul, yeah

Oooooo, yeah  
Your beautiful soul  


_Randy couldn't keep the big grin from coming across his face. And he opened his text messaging and typed one to John really quick._

**I just got your message. I love that song! And having that come from you means a lot to me. Thank you baby. I love you too. I am coming home. See you in a few days.**

**Meanwhile at John's House**

John gave a happy sigh as he set his bags down in the front hall of his Tampa home. It was nice to have a few days off, and knowing that Randy was going to be here soon made it all the better. John got to work cleaning the place up. He couldn't have Randy come home to a dirty house.

John had hung out with Roman a few times before coming home. Roman had been acting kind of strangely since hearing the news that he and Randy were getting back together. He was still making it very clear that he was interested in being much more than friends. He had even kissed John goodbye in a much more than friendly way when he had left to come home this morning.

John wasn't sure what he was going to do. He knew in his heart that he loved Randy. But Roman was so very different from Randy. He was very intriguing. He had a killer body, and that long black hair of his was a major turn on for John. Roman could kiss too...John felt his cheeks go red and hot as he remembered that sensual kiss that Roman had given him this morning.

"Just remember, if things don't go according to plan, you know where to find me." Roman had told him as they said their good byes.

John plugged his iPod into the dock in the living room and turned it up nice and loud for some cleaning music. The song that came on was one that John recognized but he knew that he had not put it on there...he quickly realized that this was a message from Roman. The song was by Jesse Mc Cartney and it was called "Just So You Know"

_I shouldn't love you but I want to  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
I can't look away_

I shouldn't love you but I want to  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]  
Just so you know  
This feeling's taking control of me  
And I can't help it  
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know  
I've tried my best to let go of you  
But I don't want to  
I just gotta say it all  
Before I go  
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you  
There's so much I can't say  
Do you want me to hide the feelings  
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me  
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long  
Looking back I realize  
It was always there just never spoken  
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

John sat down heavily on his living room sofa. His thoughts were racing, this was getting crazy. He was starting to wonder if he already spent too much time waiting on Randy. Meanwhile he couldn't stop the thoughts of Roman from dancing around in his brain. A single song came to mind as John sat there and he walked over and put it on because it fit the situation that he was going through. At the same time, he opened his email on his iPhone and typed one to Roman. All it said was: Play this and then there was a link to yet another song lyric video for the same song John was listening to right now, "I Think I Love You." by The Partridge Family.

_I'm sleeping  
And right in the middle of a good dream  
Then all at once I wake up  
From something that keeps knocking at my brain  
Before I go insane  
I hold my pillow to my head  
And spring up in my bed  
Screaming out the words I dread ...  
"I think I love you!" (I think I love you)_

This was crazy for John, because this had actually happened. There had been a night where John had dreamed of Roman, and in the dream He was telling him that he loved him and he was leaving Randy. But Roman wasn't listening...It was insane...and John had woken up yelling out those very words "I think I love you!"  
_  
This morning, I woke up with this feeling  
I didn't know how to deal with  
And so I just decided to myself  
I'd hide it to myself  
And never talk about it  
And did not go and shout it  
When you walked into the room ...  
"I think I love you!" (I think I love you)_

John blushed as he thought about these words. He hadn't actually shouted anything out when Roman had shown up this morning to say good bye, but he had come close. He had screamed it over and over in his mind.  
_  
I think I love you  
So what am I so afraid of?  
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of  
A love there is no cure for  
I think I love you  
Isn't that what life is made of?  
Though it worries me to say  
I've never felt this way_

So this was it! John was falling for Roman. He knew in his mind and in his heart that he still loved Randy and that he probably always would; but John could not deny the fact that he was madly in love with Roman.

John sent the email with the song link in it to Roman just as the last notes faded away. He got up and went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the fridge. As he was doing that his phone beeped and he checked it to see that there was a reply email from Roman. It had had two attachments, the first was a naughty selfie that Roman had taken, John's cheeks flushed as he realized that Roman was naked. The second was a link to a song lyric video and John's face turned even redder as he opened it and the song began to play. It was "I Touch Myself." by The DiVinyls.

There was a post script that said..."Thinking of you...with both hands."

John hurried upstairs and into his dressing room. He stripped off all of his clothes and stood in front of his full-length mirror. He snapped a full frontal selfie and opened an email typing in Roman's address. He attached the pic, and one final song lyric link. It was for one from Glee. It was the Warblers and their rendition of Rod Stewart's Classic "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?"

John sent the email to Roman with a HUGE grin on his face. He slipped into a pair of denim shorts and a T shirt and went back downstairs. As he reached the bottom step, his phone beeped. John checked the message, and his heart went into his mouth as he saw that it was from Randy.

**I'm in the air now. I will be there in acouple of hours. Can't wait to see you, my Superman. I have missed you.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"John! I'm here!" Randy called out as he let himself in to the house.

"I'm in the kitchen." John said.

Randy went into the kitchen and he had to smile as he saw John standing at the stove, stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce, wearing his "Kiss The Cook" apron.

"Smells amazing." Randy said to him.

John held out a wooden spoon for Randy to taste the sauce. He did and a small moan escaped him.

"Delicious." he said.

"Yeah? Do you think it needs more garlic?" John asked.

There was music playing. John liked to listen to music when he was cooking. A collection of Frank Sinatra songs was playing right now. Randy smiled as he listened to 'Ol Blue Eyes croon about the "Summer Wind"

"It's perfect." Randy reassured him.

John turned to hug Randy then. He was happy to see him, but he felt his heart sink as he remembered that he needed to tell Randy about what was happening between him and Roman. He wanted to be honest right off the bat. He loved Randy that much and he felt he owed it to him.

"Randy I need to talk to you." John said.

"All right. And actually, since you brought it up I need to talk to you too." Randy replied.

John motioned for Randy to sit down, and he went to the fridge and got each of them a beer.

Randy sat down at the breakfast bar, and John hopped up on a stool next to him.

"All right, so you first." John said, still not ready to drop his bomb on Randy.

"Well John. I'm not sure how to tell you this. But I've fallen in love with someone else." Randy said to him.

John's jaw dropped! "Really? Who?" he asked.

"Dave. Dave Batista. It wasn't planned...he came to visit me in St. Louis and check up on me. And we were talking, and one thing led to another, and..." Randy trailed off blushing.

"Oh Randy..." John trailed off, taking a deep breath.

"John, I'm so sorry baby." Randy said.

"Why, it's okay. I understand, actually, that's kinda what I wanted to say to you too." John replied with a grin.

"You met someone, didn't you?" Randy asked, smiling back.

"Well I got together with someone, yes."

"That's wonderful, who?"

"Roman." John said with a sigh and a small giggle.

"Roman Reigns? No freakin' way! Oh John! I am soooo jealous! He is soooo sexy." Randy rambled on, like a teenage boy.

John couldn't keep the smile from his face then. He knew then that everything would be ok.

Just then the music changed, and John was convinced that his iPod had a mind of it's own then as Whitney Houston came on, singing "I Will Always Love You." John looked up at Randy then, and he smiled.

"Dance with me...one last time?" he asked.

:"Yes." Randy agreed.

John pulled Randy close, as they listened to the words.

_If I should stay  
I would only be in your way  
So I'll go but I know  
I'll think of you every step of the way_

And I... will always love you, ooh  
Will always love you  
You  
My darling, you...  
Mmm-mm

Bittersweet memories –  
That is all I'm taking with me.  
So good-bye.  
Please don't cry:

John reached out to wipe a tear from Randy's eye right as Whitney sang the words "Please don't cry." it was so sweet, Randy was fighting hard not to fall apart.

_We both know I'm not what you, you need_

And I... will always love you  
I... will always love you  
You, ooh

[Instrumental / Sax solo]

Randy gazed into John's eyes and as he did, he knew that they were doing the right thing. He felt happy and at peace with the decision they had made. He pulled John towards him and gave him a small peck on the cheek. "I'll always be here for you. Even though we're not together, we'll always be friends." he whispered in John's ear.  
_  
I hope life treats you kind  
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of  
And I wish you joy and happiness  
But above all this I wish you love_

And I... will always love you  
I will always love you  
I will always love you  
I will always love you

I will always love you  
I, I will always love you.

You.  
Darling, I love you.  
I'll always...  
I'll always love you.  
Ooh  
Ooh 

By the end of the song, John was crying. He tried hard to hide it, but it was impossible. As happy as he was that things had gone so well here tonight, He was still saying goodbye to the love he had shared with Randy. He knew that they would always be friends and always be there for each other and that made him feel a little bit better about the situation.

John invited Randy to stay for dinner. They enjoyed John's homemade spaghetti sauce with some fresh pasta and a yummy mixed green salad with a balsamic vinaigrette. John opened a bottle of Italian red wine as well.

"I'm gonna miss your cooking." Randy said to him.

"Why, doesn't Dave cook?" John asked him.

"He makes killer bacon and eggs for breakfast. He likes to barbecue, but other than that, his housekeeper does all his cooking." Randy said.

"I'll buy him some cookbooks for Christmas." John said with a giggle.

Just then, Randy's phone vibrated on the table, and John could tell by the look on Randy's face, that he had just gotten a text message from Dave.

"What's lover boy want?" John asked him.

"I don't know...it's just a link, and it says PLAY THIS." Randy answered.

"Well, go ahead." John said.

"Okay."

Randy clicked the link, and suddenly Celine Dion's voice came into the room, singing her hit song "I Surrender."

John almost fell on the floor laughing. This was too much.

"What the hell was that about?" he asked Randy, as the last notes faded out.

"He's a big Celine Dion fan." Randy answered. His cheeks going bright pink.

John nearly choked on the sip of wine he was taking. He just could NOT picture big, burly, mean Dave Batista listening to Celine Dion. It was hilarious. Poor Randy, next thing he knew Dave would be dragging him to a Celine concert or something.

"It's not funny John." Randy said.

"Oh hell yes it is." John answered, trying his hardest not to burst into laughter.

"Anyway, next subject, let's talk about Roman." Randy said.

John straightened up right away. His face went beet red. "What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Ohhhh! Someone's got it BAD!" Randy said, laughing.

"Randy, stop!" John said, looking down at the floor.

"So come on! I'm waiting..." Randy said.

"He's sexy, smart, funny...a HUGE flirt, and he can kiss like his life depends on it." John said, still blushing. "He's into football and cars like me, He likes rock music and I'm gonna have him over tomorrow night, most likely."

Randy smiled. He was happy that John was happy. The only other time he had seen him this happy was when they had gotten together. He knew that Roman would be good to John. Roman was a nice guy.

"I'm happy for you, John. I wish you all the best."

"Thanks." John said, smiling.

Randy went to stay at a nearby motel that evening. As soon as he was gone, John checked his phone for messages. There was a text from Roman.

**Thinking of you. Hope everything went ok, and that you are in one piece. Missing you. ;) Call me tomorrow, I'm tired and going to bed. Sweet Dreams.**

There was also a link to another one of those song lyric videos. This one was for "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith.

There was a Post Script as well. It said:

**I can't wait for tomorrow night, because then I won't have to miss anything. I love you.**

John's eyes teared up as he got changed for bed. Roman was so wonderful! He sent a quick reply to him:

**It's all good. I'm fine and in one piece. Thank you for the song. I love that one! I am sending you one back...if you're still up, listen, if not...maybe you'll hear it tomorrow, either way I'll be dreaming of you tonight. I love you too. **

John signed off with a little heart emoticon and posted a link to a love song that fit quite nicely with what he had said in his message. It was by Selena, and it was called "Dreaming Of You."

John fell asleep that night and for the first time in weeks, he had a perfect, undisturbed night's sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Roman arrived the following evening around dinner time. John invited him in, and they went into the kitchen together.

"For you." Roman said, presenting John with a bouquet of red roses and pink stargazer lilies.

"They're gorgeous." John said, smiling.

"Something smells good." Roman said to him, with a smile.

"Meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes, with peppercorn gravy." John replied, smiling. "I also made a salad, and I have apple crisp with vanilla ice cream for dessert."

"I wasn't talking about the food." Roman said, with a sexy wink.

John blushed. He had put on a bit of his favorite cologne, Tommy by Tommy Hilfiger.

There was music playing in John's kitchen. Roman smiled. So John liked music when he was cooking, just like he did. It was nice having a little dinner music. Roman was pleased to find that John liked Classic Rock too, as the Eagles came on singing "Hotel California." There was so much that they had in common. It made this so easy for them both.

John took out a chilled bottle of red wine from the fridge and uncorked it. He poured them each a glass and he came over and took a seat next to Roman, placing his hand on top of Roman's on the table. John leaned in for a quick kiss.

"I'm so happy you're here." he said to Roman. "I haven't stopped thinking about you all day."

"Ditto." Roman replied, just as the song changed. This was one that Roman knew well. It was the 80's rock band Whitesnake, and the song was called "Is This Love?" It was perfect, and he pulled John to his feet and into his arms for a dance.

They enjoyed the meal together. Roman complimented John on his cooking quite a few times.

"It's nothing really. My Mom taught me a few things, and what I didn't learn from her, I found in cookbooks." John replied with a grin.

After dinner, they went into John's movie room, to watch a movie together. They decided on a mutual favorite, both of them being former football players, They chose the movie The Grid Iron Gang.

John flipped up the arm rest in between the two seats, and patted the spot beside him as the lights dimmed and the movie started. Roman sat down next to John, and settled in easily.

Roman slid his arm around John's shoulders. He leaned over to nibble on John's ear and it made him smile a little when he heard a soft moan in response.

"Um , I thought we were going to watch the movie?" John asked

"We are...it's just you're so cute..." Roman trailed off as he trailed his lips down John's neck, making him moan a little louder.

They turned their attention to the movie and they had watched the first few minutes of it, when Roman started to once again nibble John's earlobe.

"John...I didn't come here to watch movies..." Roman whispered into his ear.

John shivered. This was driving him crazy. But he wanted to wait until at least the third or fourth date before anything real serious happened between them.

"Ohhhh, Roman..." he moaned.

"John. I want you. You're so sexy..."

"Roman, baby, I want you too. God knows I do. But I was kind of hoping to wait a little while, just until we've been dating a little longer. This is only our first date. I'm not ready."

"Okay. Fine. I can respect that you want to wait. I won't pressure you." Roman said. "But can we go upstairs and cuddle at least. I am soooo not feeling this movie right now."

"Cuddling I can do. I may even be okay with a bit of smooching." John said. With a wink.

They went to John's bedroom, and lay on top of the covers on John's bed, fully clothed. Roman spooning John from behind. John's face went red as he felt Roman's erection against his bottom.

"See what you do to me?" Roman whispered in his ear, making John shiver once again. "I want you so bad baby. I love you."

John turned in Roman's arms then. "Kiss me." he said.

Roman pulled John closer to him then, and their lips found each other. John moaned softly as Roman gently rolled him onto his back. He kissed John's neck all the way down. Unbuttoning John's shirt, kissing him all over his chest...gently licking and sucking each nipple.

"Roman..." John sighed. "Stop..." he trailed off, lost in the pleasure of the moment.

"Sssssh...I won't do anything you don't want, John. I just want to enjoy you for the moment baby. I love your body. Whenever I watch you in the ring, I get turned on like crazy. I've liked you for a very long time John. And now that I have you here in my arms...I can't help myself..."

"Roman...stop!" John told him coming back to reality.

"OK! All right! I'm sorry baby. I love you. I see now that you aren't ready. Here let me just hold you. Sssssh, I'm sorry." Roman felt like a complete ass for doing exactly what he had just told John he wouldn't do...he tried to pressure him...

They sat up then and John leaned against Roman as they sat on the edge of the bed.

"I got an idea, let's put on some music and just sit here on the bed and talk." Roman said, "Maybe we can cuddle more later, if you want."

John excused himself to go downstairs and get his iPod from the kitchen. He also grabbed two cans of Diet Coke from the fridge and brought them upstairs too.

John came back into the bedroom and there was Roman, laying on his side, propped up on his elbow.

"Hey gorgeous!" John said.

"Hello yourself."

John turned on the music on shuffle and blushed as the very first song to come on was one that described how he felt about Roman. It was Britney Spears singing "Toxic" John heard Roman chuckle as he noticed the redness in his face.

"It's okay..I like her too." Roman said trying to reassure him.

"It's not that...listen to the words." John replied.

Roman's face lit up in a big smile as he realized why John was reacting this way to the song. It was speaking to him too. John was irresistable to him too.

_Baby, can't you see  
I'm calling  
A guy like you  
Should wear a warning  
It's dangerous  
I'm fallin'_

There's no escape  
I can't wait  
I need a hit  
Baby, give me it  
You're dangerous  
I'm lovin' it

John brought Roman his Diet Coke, and he felt an electric type jolt go through his body when their hands touched as he took it from him. This was intense and it was way beyond anything he had ever felt with Randy. John had to sit down as he felt a rush in his head and a dizzy warm feeling came over him...  
_  
Too high  
Can't come down  
Losing my head  
Spinning 'round and 'round  
Do you feel me now_

"John are you okay?" Roman asked, seeing the look on his face, and the way he was flushed.

"I can't think...not about anything more than how crazy I am about you."  
_  
With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride_

_You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic_

It's getting late  
To give you up  
I took a sip  
From my devil's cup  
Slowly  
It's taking over me

Too high  
Can't come down  
It's in the air  
And it's all around  
Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic

Don't you know that you're toxic

[x2]  
With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic

Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now  
I think I'm ready now  
Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now 

_John felt his heart begin to race then, as Roman leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. This was amazing...He couldn't get enough and he started to question what he had told Roman earlier, he was beginning to think he was ready after all. _


End file.
